Just like it is for a man to marry a single mother or mother of three, so it is for a woman to marry a man with kids. But I feel it’s more easier for a man than a woman marrying a man with kids or do we say it’s the same?
The first thing you have to realize as a woman who is planning to marry a family man is that the man is going to put the kids before you.
And if his children don’t like you,the progression of the relationship will slow down.
It is definitely a more complicated situation that needs more maturity to handle. It is more complicated than marrying someone who has never been married before.
Before you make any decision or take any step you need to ask yourself some questions:
I. How old are the kids? Do they stay with him? what does he expect from you in relation to the kids? what do you expect from him and the kids?
II. Can you really love someone kids as yours?
These are crucial questions you need to answer before you take a step further.
You should also try as much as possible to find out what happened to his past marriage, why did the wife leave or die? What kind of treatments his former wife got? You need to have an idea of the kind of marriage you are walking in to. If the former wife had left because of constant beating from the man and his flirty life, will you want to be with such man too all in the name of love or marriage? Think about it.
Also you need to consider his capabilities to cater for his children and your welfare, else you may end up being the one taking care of the children alone and this might result to your frustration. This makes the family bond grow weary, eventually leading to its collapse.
If you decide to play along you must remember that marrying a man with a family will have added pressures.
Best of luck!
Igbagboyemi Tosin, SeunElijah
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